Monday, March 7, 2011

When you work in retail . . .

In honour of my friend Marie I am going to share some retail stories with you this evening.  Have you ever worked in retail?  Yes.  Then you know that you are hostage to every cranky person and crazy person that comes within 10 yards of you.  No.  You have no idea how hard it can be.

When you work in retail you have to smile and provide service to some people that don't appreciate it and don't care.  I've lost track of the times I've seen a guy walk into a coffee shop and snarl at the counter person because they have to wait more than a few seconds for their coffee.  Seriously guy!  Your world is not going to be destroyed if you let the server actually stir the sugar into your coffee. 

Why is it that we now expect immediate service?  We walk into a restaurant and expect good service and our meal delivered quickly . . . and it better be just right and hot and fresh . . . but we want it in 10 minutes or less.  I would like my pork chop cooked properly thank you and I don't mind waiting (within reason . . . based on what you order) if it means I am going to get a freshly cooked meal.  But please don't keep me waiting too long when I know your food is in a steam table and individual dishes ready to pop into the microwave.  Okay enough of my restaurant rants for one day . . . although I could keep going all day.

As many of you know, I am a mechanical idiot.  Please don't give me anything difficult or with more than two buttons to push or I will screw it up.  And yet every time I go into my local grocery store, I am determined to use the self-serve check out.  And that's where Marie works.  I am sure she cringes a little when she sees me coming but she never shows it.  She always smiles and pretends its the machines fault rather than mine when I manage to screw up the machine, which I do at least once (but more often 3-4 times) every time I visit.  Marie is my hero. 

When you work in retail you are an easy target for every difficult person in the known world.  They can yell at you, snarl, complain or just be mean and there is very little you can do about it . . . because the customer is always right . . . pfffffffttttttttttttt . . .

So one day two young ladies walked into a store and asked how to print white on black paper using their computer.  I explained that was impossible; that printers don't have white ink and what they were really seeing was black ink covering white paper.  They assured me that I was wrong several times and several ways.  So I finally told them that I didn't know how to do that but I was pretty sure they knew how in London . . . LOL . . . never saw them again.

So one bitter winter day a young lady walked into a store with a kitten and she was so worried about the kitten and didn't know where it came from and what should she do???  So Mom told her that we could call the Animal Control for her.  She thanked us, dropped the cat on the floor and left . . . our jaws dropped as we realized we were stuck with the kitten . . . LOL . . . I told Mom she would have to clean up any messes. 

So one day this young man walks into a store and asks if he can sweep the sidewalk for money.  I declined his offer.  He said he was really hungry so I offered him a bowl of apples.  He declined my offer because he didn't like the kind of apples I had . . . starving, huh???

So one really crazy day two women come into a store, give it a quick look around.  When Mom asked them if there was anything she could assist them with, they assured her that she couldn't help because they only used 8.5 x 11 paper and ours was 12 x 12.  They didn't think they could cut the paper themselves . . . Mom's response:  It's not rocket science you know.  High-five Mom.

So on the day that a store was closing and everyone was stressed and smiling so they didn't cry, two women came into the store.  They looked around a bit and kept me tied up for the better part of an hour assisting them as they pawed through all the drastically reduced merchandise.  They finally selected a couple of items and checked out.  A minute or two later one of the women came back in and picked up something that cost a dime.  I checked her out and thanked her for her purchase.  Now I'll be able to get that kidney transplant I've been saving for.  I know that was wrong on so many levels . . . but I just couldn't help it.

So here's to all the retail staff who come into work everyday and smile at us and help us even if we are behaving like total jerks.  Hip Hip Hooray!!!!!!!!!

And here is a photo of a store with awesome customer service . . . Bibles for Missions . . . and you just have to love their once a month sales. 

Nighty night,